10. Became Facebook friends with your neighbor’s dog’s account and your best friend’s mom
At the time, you wanted to boost your number of friends and that meant adding everyone and anyone that may have an account. It was important for people to log onto your profile and see a number (hopefully triple digits) next to the word “Friends”. Looking back at your friends list several years later, you will see that you do not want to be connected to Sparky the dog or Mrs. Jenson via social media.
9. Make statuses that no body cared about reading
Letting everyone know that you just ate some really amazing cookies or just got home from a great time at the town pool is information that does not need to be shared. Though your great aunt may comment with an “Awesome Zach!”, it does not mean it needs to be online for everyone to see. Once you start posting about college acceptances and actual accomplishments, you realize that most people reading what you used to post could have cared less.
8. Started poke wars with everyone and anyone
A poke could have been used as an early form of flirting but instead turned into an all out war between you and pretty much anyone that would poke you back. Nothing was ever accomplished through these wars and the truth is you were never really fighting about anything. And even though if you saw the person in real life, chances are you would not make eye contact, it was still important to poke them back as fast and as often as possible.
7. Made your birthday with a year that made you seem 10 years older
Not only did you need to “be” a certain age to join Facebook, but it would have seemed stupid for a 14 year old to be the social media website. Making your age older then it actually was not only allows you to actually get onto Facebook but also makes you seem more mature, or at least you hope it does.
6. Made your relationship status “It’s complicated with my best friend”
No middle-school relationship lasted more than a 45-minute algebra class but you did not want to write that you were “single” and you sure were not going to leave that vital part of your page blank. Instead, you would send a relationship request to your best friend and change it to “It’s complicated” even though you’re not even sure what that really means.
5. Change your profile picture to a car or famous sports player
The only pictures taken of you right now are your school picture and the one your mom took of you for the annually holiday card so both of those are pretty much off limits. But you love Hummers and Derek Jeter so they get to be your profile picture…go yankees?
4. Get tagged in pictures of cartoon characters to describe your personality
If Seth even thinks he is not going to tag you as “Sports Player”, he has another thing coming to him. And besides, everyone knows that Ben is the class clown and Jenna is the nerd. These pictures were the epitome of your social standing in school and most people’s perspective of you were based on how you got tagged. Fair warning, if you want to upload one of these yourself, leave the people tagging to someone else.
3. Updated your information to say you attended school at Hogwarts School of Witchery
Whether your parents scared you out of listing your actual school in fear of internet creepers or you just thought it would be a funny thing to do, you made your school some place witty and clever. Once you move onto high school or maybe college, you would list your actual school and see the mockery you made of yourself when you first joined facebook.
2. Try to write something on your friend’s wall but accidentally posted it as your own status
“Tommy, when do we have to finish reading The Giver for english class? Also, I got the new Mario Kart if you want to come over and play later” *Status Complete* A mistake made all to often by those new to the social media realm was making a status when you meant to post it on someone’s wall. Sure you delete it within seconds of seeing it posted to your own profile, but the damage has been done and I guarantee someone say it.
1. Assume everyone else has Facebook now that you have it
Everyone that is everywhere in the entire universe is not on Facebook…how can that be?!?!?
The reality is that Facebook is not your everything and you will soon enough realize that. But for now, enjoy your BMW profile pictures and status’s about what your mom is cooking for dinner because before you know it, it will be over.