Did you ever want to look like a complete idiot while making the people around you really mad? For most people, this is only a distant dream, a trivial wish that cannot be fulfilled. Well now you can do both at the same time. I introduce to you, “Spike Away”, a full body, medieval spike armor with the purpose of torturing the innocent bystanders that are unfortunate enough to be near you. This classy armor suit will allow you to spear your fellow public transportation riders. With “Spike Away” you can now impale your grandmother while trying to hug her. Seriously, this stunning work of art will make you as sexy as a Saguaro Cactus; because everyone nowadays wants to look like an enormous prickly plant.
Do you have too many friends, too many people clinging on to you? I use to have those same problems, until I bought the “Spike Away”. Now, people just seem to stay clear of me. It’s truly magical how all my friends stopped hanging out with me once I became known as the “Spike Away” guy. Hugging is overrated, I mean, why would you want to risk catching a bunch a germs from another person by hugging them. With “Spike Away”, I can guarantee you that no one will want to hug you or even get close to you for that matter. It’s great for those folks that just hate everyone else and like seeing people get mad at them. Don’t waste your time being nice to other people; instead skewer them with this magnificent article of clothing called “Spike Away”.