Facebook Facade

Behind the glowing computer screens lies a person who lives and expresses much of their life through social media, most commonly Facebook. For many, myself included, Facebook began a middle school trend. A way to keep in touch with your friends and post pictures full of edits and colorful captions all about your “best friends”. That was the beginning of an era, an era of social media junkies amongst us all. My life on social media may not necessarily be drastically different from my real life; as I am still the brown hair, blue eyed swimmer that everybody has come to know me as, but social media gives me the opportunity to highlight the high points in my life. For example last summer I posted an album of me wake boarding. Can I wake board? Yes. But do I wake board regularly? No. Just by looking at my profile though, you wouldn’t likely be able to tell that I’ve only wake boarded a couple times in my life.

 Along with the lengthy exaggerations of my life, you can find the basic facts about my life. Where I was born, when I was born, where I work, where I went to school, and even whom I am related to. Talking about family members brings up another good point. Once the baby boomers began entering the social media world, it sent a shock among the younger generations. Unwanted sometimes-illegible comments on our posts and pictures “embarrassing” us in front of all 900 of our cool friends. Thank god Facebook invented the filtering and blocking abilities to their website, otherwise I would be overrun with family member’s feedback on my life. Now don’t get me wrong, I love each and everyone of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, but there comes a point when there needs to be a cut off for the technically deficient on the internet.

 A basic run through of my social media life would include adventures, great times with friends, and swim meets; also known as the rarely exciting things that happen in my life. “Pics or it didn’t happen” is a real phrase and is a real idea that people follow. If you did something even remotely exciting or funny, you must take a picture of it and post it somewhere on the Internet for everybody to see. I myself follow this rule religiously. Therefore, when people see me on social media, they see only a tainted view of my real life. I don’t show the nights I spend simply watching Netflix by myself or studying for the big test I have the next day because that isn’t interesting to everybody else. Social media is like an online dating profile; it’s the way I can show people that I’m an adventurous, fun-loving person. My Facebook is a blessing and a curse. I like who I am on the Internet, but I only wish I was as adventurous as my profile makes me seem.


The Shadow Scholar

Students of the 21th century have thought to be plagued by laziness. While many scholarly persons may agree, there are no legitimate sources to prove the assumed laziness of today’s college students, until now. Ed Dante is a simple workingman with a simple job: to write papers for America’s lackadaisical students. All it takes is a short email and a couple hundred dollars and your term paper, research proposal, or graduate thesis is complete and ready to turn in at little to no effort from you. Dante, a scholarly writer, becomes a writing machine, dishing out 20 to 40 pages a day for the incompetent students, which he splits into three categories; the nonnative English speaker, the rich kid, and the “hopelessly deficient”. No matter who the client is though, Dante receives an assignment, writes it, and said student receives credit with absolutely no questioning by a professor. The education system is failing its students and all Dante’s company is doing is benefitting from it all. The moral of The Shadow Scholar is that students in this day and age are getting lazier and there are resources out there that allow them to become lazier.


 Everybody I know hates to write papers for school including me, there’s a guy that saves the day though and writes all your papers for you. Ed Dante is a professional writer and all he does for his job is write papers for other people and all you have to do is email him and pay him for his work. The best part is that your teacher will never find out because it’s all his original work and it isn’t out on the Internet or anything. Some of the people he writes for don’t speak English, some are just too lazy, and some are really dumb and can’t write their own papers. Ed Dante and his company make it way too easy for people to not write papers but still get good grades.


 All it took was an email and some cash and Mr. Ed Dante wrote me a midterm paper even my professor thought was real #toolazyforcollege